Endless Happiness is Dangerous and Boring - Happiness vs Fullfillment

How’s that for an attention grabber? Dr. Eric Wilson in his book Against Happiness: In Praise of Melancholy concludes “happy types” that run from sorrow are cheating themselves from a richer, more creative life.

Dr. Wilson states, “I really feel strongly that Americans’ addiction to happiness is dangerous. In some ways it’s leading to a kind of superficiality and vapidity that cuts away a lot of creativity.”

Years ago I had the chance to hear Tony Campolo speak in his home city, Philadelphia. As a Caucasian Pastor in a predominantly African American congregation he was a dude that was bound to have a unique perspective. As an aside, he ended up being the “expert” who counseled Bill Clinton in the aftermath of his Monica scandal. (Wouldn’t you have loved to be a fly on the wall for that conversation? Well Tony I really don’t know why I did what I did. -- Well Bill, I’d say President Johnson doesn’t need to be making any more executive decisions for starters.)

Let’s get back on track. The thing that caught my attention in Campolo’s speech was when he asked everyone, “Parents, what do you want your kids to be?”  In a chorus of agreement, one word was fed back in remarkable unison. “Happy!”

“Happy?” he said. “No, it’s not happy. You can take a pill and be happy. Happy is something of a temporary state. It’s fulfilled. We want our kids to be fulfilled.”

Dr. Wilson’s point is congruent. He feels “standing against happiness” opens the door to for joy. Joy grows out of melancholy whereas happiness is a cursory state. The polarity of joy and sorrow, to Dr. Wilson, is a more complete, authentic human experience. Just as the natural interplay between opposites of day and night and up and down.

Seeking fulfillment in our fast paced world can be challenging. The Age of Speed has us looking for quick fixes. But let’s not be so swift that we vilify instant gratification. If something can improve your experience of life then it can be a good thing.

Consider the BlackBerry for example. The seeming addiction some people have to their PDA can be downright destructive. “Hey, we’re having lunch here. Do you think you could put the CrackBerry away for 30 minutes?’ But, if it’s used in another scenario to allow more time for the significant things in life, it’s a positive tool.

The idea behind pushing against happiness has to do with the broader pursuit of a deeper, richer and more vital life. Being fulfilled truly is the higher order of the human condition.

Zipping past sadness with a pill or the amazingly effective Hagen Daaz coffee ice cream can be a temporary solution. The lure of a beeping email or a frisky intern can be addictive distractions. Dear reader, a full life is not for the timid.

The valuable alternative is to fully engage, embrace and harness those pesky melancholic moments on a path to greater fulfillment and joy.

Which would you rather be? Happy or fulfilled?